Realistic Pacing of Pain Patients’ Activities
Chronic pain changes lives. It impacts self-image, impacts others, and interrupts life plans. It constricts physical and emotional abilities. It is a disease that is not understood or accepted by the individual and others. It seems that no one believes them. Negative labels and diagnoses abound and others seem to find fault. Patients are angry that the pain hinders them from their regular lives. No one can figure out why they can be so impaired one day and be able to do things the next day. All of this becomes the mystery of living in a “strange and non-accepting” world. Understanding the issue of “learning to pace one’s activities” will go a long way in helping everyone’s ability to manage the chronic pain condition better.
Pushing to Overcome
When one has an injury, it is conventional wisdom that, with time, everything will return to normal. While this is usually the case, the patient with a chronic condition starts to find that the hopes of being “normal” may never return. As with all grief and loss reactions, we all go through stages of grieving and loss:
- Disorganization and Disorientation
These stages are not necessarily experienced in an ordered and sequential, step-by-step, manner. Rather, these stages go up and down, back and forth—to the point that the person feels and may even act “crazy” to themselves and others. Yet, in fact, this progression is a normal process.
Denial. In this stage, many keep pushing themselves to perform—hoping for improvement and not fully believing that everything has changed in life.
Grief. Involves anger focused on pushing harder, and faster, to do tasks.
Bargaining. One is focused on trade-offs where one gives up one activity for another with the hope that the bargain will pay off in the long run.
Sadness. When trade-offs do not work, one’s reaction may encompass a range of emotions—everything from silence and passivity to tears.
Anxiety. Caused by a realistic fear of the future and the unknown, this is a highly motivating stage that pushes the person to try harder, push harder, with a sense of panic that they are out of control of their lives.
Disorganization & Disorientation. Confusion and forgetfulness—even for organized people—are tied to feelings of being lost and insecure. Sleep loss, eating changes, and short-term memory gaps are normal and common in this stage because the person feels even more confused and lost. In this stage, the person may appear passive and dependent, but they are really just lost and confused—without knowing what to do.
Depression. Brings with it a sense of feeling down, flat, lifeless, hopeless, and being tired all the time. It seems as if one is unable to control these feelings and make them disappear.
Acceptance. Acceptance does not come easily and usually can take years of facing the struggles and failures before the person finally comes to understand that their journey in life has permanently changed. Transitions do open up new doors, but they cannot be rushed. Some research suggests that it can take up to three years to “work through” all the feelings of loss and/or change.
Avoidance by Rushing Around, Being Busy, Always Going
Psychologists know that one of the “addictions” of many people is to always be busy and on the go while doing several things at once. Few ever think of this as an addictive behavior because it centers around productive work that needs to be done by someone. Following are a few thoughts to consider related to pacing one’s activities and tasks.
The Rushing Addictive High
When we are always on the go certain chemicals get released in the body that makes one feel good. One of these chemicals is adrenalin, the “legal speed,” that gives a sense of energy. The longer we run on adrenalin the better we feel because it provides a certain level of excitement and energy. Rushing and doing is an addictive behavior–it feels so good and modulates our moods. The problem is that the longer we rush and push to get many things done at once, the more we leave ourselves open in the long run for a sense of exhaustion, fatigue, physical problems, stress, and injuries. However, when we slow down we miss the natural high and wish to feel that way again.
Rushing as a “Mood Elevator”
Adrenalin, like meth/speed drugs, provides a way to get one out of a sense of depression. Because these chemicals are released quickly when rushing around, being busy, etc., we can feel better in a short period of time. Activity then becomes a way of “lifting us up” to feel better and avoid knowing that there may be an underlying sense of depression.
Rushing as a Way to Avoid Boredom
Being busy allows us to avoid acknowledging that we are really bored in life and have no idea of what else to do with our lives. When things slow down, some tend to feel overwhelmed with a sense of boredom. They have never learned how to just “be with themselves.” Being busy allows one to avoid dealing with learning how to live with themselves, play by themselves, enjoy themselves, and feel and experience life, spirit, and body in new ways. Many people have been conditioned since early childhood to be producing and doing for others and always being busy—so that rushing, being busy, has become their sense of identity.
Rushing as a Way to Avoid Thinking
When one is always busy, doing multiple tasks at once, and handling everything, there is no time to think about things—whether issues in one’s life, feelings, or relationships. Being busy allows one to avoid old hurts, new hurts, unresolved childhood issues, relationship issues, or other problems in life. Slowing down is seen as something to be feared because one might have to think about and face issues that are better left ignored.
Pacing, Bursts of Activity and Life
When we live a fast-paced life, we fool ourselves by thinking:
- We are indispensable—nothing will get done unless we do it. We think that by working hard we insure love from others. When busy we can avoid relating to others. Yet, workaholism is not insurance against being laid off or a way to be noticed.
- We are on a perpetual adrenalin high—a rush. Sustained highs are not good for our bodies. We use adrenalin “speed” to avoid feeling. It only leads to more exhaustion and continued ups and downs.
- We are more worthwhile doing for others. We believe we gauge our worth by how much we do for others. Such a belief means we are suffering from low self-esteem.
We are ‘human beings’, not ‘human doing machines’ despite continuing to feel that we should be able to do more and not be limited in any way. The problem is that such avoided issues will surface at some point in life and will have to be dealt with. Often this occurs at the most inappropriate times—such as times of injury or chronic conditions—thus contributing to a sense of panic and anxiety.